Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Past, Present & Future

And in consequence I love the history of my own life. Reminiscing on my childhood, my adolescence, my parents, my schooldays, my city... And the fact that I am Cuban and somehow lost many of the material memories I had of my past (as the almost white/blonde lock of hair my mother had pasted in a pink silk baby album that I was not allowed to bring with me into exile) --makes my obsession with remembering -and not forgetting!- my past life, so much more important.

I cannot walk again the streets where I played at age 5. Nor go to the shopping area of Galiano and San Rafael where my mother used to take me so often. Nor feel the city of Havana all around me. Nor smell the rain in the tropics --or the red earth of Cuba's countryside. All that is gone and finished. So my memories and my old photos is all I have left to remind me of the first 20 years of my life. And I remember....and I tell you about it....And I enjoy that warm feeling that bringing back sensations and moments past, does to my spirit.

On the other hand I love my 'present' ---and still make plans for my 'future' -although, I must admit, my plans are more immediate and less lofty than 30 years ago. But ine thing has nothing to do with the other. Is good to know that I am not obssesed with my past and love my life as it is today. There is so much to enjoy! My family, my delicious daughter, my work, and the fact that I can still appreciate people and places in a wonderful way. Of course, we all could change a few things. But in the overall Life is good.

But looking back --- my 'present' is enriched by my 'past'. And my 'future' is determined by both 'past' and 'present' --- since my plans and dreams have become more elitist and more practical at the same time. I have less 'dreams', that is true ---because most of my dreams have already come through, mostly through hard work and an optimist view of Life. Thus -- I sincerely cannot find anything wrong about remembering the past and bringing to life old experiences. In fact, it is a lovely thing to be able to do it.

So, yes.....less dreams it is ---that is true....but I must confess that I still dream (believe or not) that one day I will win the Lottery ---and spread my wealth among my family and best friends. What a great future that would be!