Friday, April 17, 2009

My heart aches

My heart aches. It physically aches, like someone is holding it in his hand and squeezing it tightly, provoking in me a strong desire to cry. It's not that I am sick and have a heart condition, but what hurts very deeply are my emotions, raw and heightened by all this easy and almost giddy and irresponsible talk about Cuba.

But I knew this was coming...For years I have feared that one day 'a moral defeat' might hit us, since Fidel Castro's evil has outlived so many good people and so many US presidents. And suddenly everybody is so tired and dying to get their hands in Cuba's future business and all will be about money, money, money...

And while my sense of Logics tells me that this is inevitable --my sense of Decency tells me that all Cuban exiles -especially the older ones, the ones who suffered the most and the longest amount of time, when we were not ready to become exiles and leave our country forever- will probably cry and feel very impotent and sad.

The history is too long, too complex, too convoluted, too cruel and filled with too many deaths, too many prisoners, too many tears, too many lives destroyed, too many people assasinated...And still...what can we do to stop what is happening and make people understand that this is a moral defeat? Absolutely nothing.

We left Cuba searching for freedom and a life in liberty. And we found it outside the island. but that Cuba we left is the same Cuba that exists today...Nothing has changed --and it has become worst...and more rotten and more inmoral...It´s the same old tyrany. The same cruel dictatorship of 50 years ago...The same place where its executioners roam around as they did the very first day. But now time has prescribed the crime and assasins can be pardoned without asking for forgiveness or spending one day in prison

And this just blows my mind.